Inner Peace. Dealing With The Stress of Your Day.

September 2004. For those of you who have a personal trainer, who are a personal trainer, or who are considering getting or becoming a personal trainer, read on...

After receiving this message over e-mail recently, and because I had just experienced a highly unusual day of amazing stress, I sent the following message out to my local clients -- who for the most part become dear friends...

Here's the initial e-mail that kicked it all off...

Secret of Finding Inner Peace... Revealed!

I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me.

As we get into the summer we all could use a little calm. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found true inner peace. The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."

So I looked around the house to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished. And before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey, the Prozac, some valium, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how incredibly good I feel....

Anonymous



Here's my e-mail message....

I KNOW that many of you battle with the kind of day I had yesterday...

  • it started off with my 1st client calling 2x (and leaving 2 messages) which requested a reschedule to the afternoon because she wasn't feeling well.
  • after listening to the messages (which took ~3 minutes), I called her and after 2-3 attempts with which we were cut off because of the admitted poor reception at her new address she decided to go ahead because I had nothing open to reschedule her to (this took another 5 minutes which left me ~ 8 minutes behind).
  • While driving in the car, she called 3-4 more times (we were continually cut off) to give me the directions to her new house which put me further behind. Because I couldn't catch what she was saying, I took a mapquest route which got me lost for ~5 minutes (all the while cursing under my breath that she had neither called my office number nor e-mailed me the directions as requested with the new address and directions).
  • I arrived for the session and stood outside the security door for ~10 minutes because she hadn't come down to let me in. Her instructions were that I should call her and let it ring 2x when I got there and she would come down, BUT I couldn't get a connection to her phone.
  • As I stood there, a kind gentleman called the code down to me so that I could get in. Since I only knew her address was #20? inside, I began knocking on doors at #205 -- which was two down, I was told, from her door -- #201.
  • I got to her door and knocked while the neighbor who directed me watched me (to make sure I wasn't a thief or murderer) and nobody came to the door. I knocked again, and again after no one came to the door, I wrote out a note stating that I was there and that I was going back down to the parking lot to my car to wait for her (I suspected she was downstairs waiting for me).
  • after getting to my car, and a few more attempts at connecting with her by phone, we finally got a good connection and she said "Where are you! I've been in my apartment the whole time waiting for you. Didn't you knock when you were up here?" You can imagine my blood pressure was up as I had busted my A@# to get to her and she was upset with me over my (perceived) late arrival.
  • when I finally got back in and traveled back up to her door and was let in she said, "so I'm not being billed for this session right?! After all, you are 20 minutes late." As you can imagine my blood pressure went through the roof and I told her that it was definitely billable, after which she demanded a refund of her unused sessions. I was so #@#$# that I decided it best just to walk out and leave, which I did, rather than say anything I might later regret.
  • then after a couple more LOVELY clients (really -- thank you!), I had a TV program production I needed to rush to which went over the schedule enough to cause me to have to cancel my billable evening sessions. IN ADDITION, since it went over, I ran out of food and you know what a stickler I am -- I missed 2 meals and was ravenous and dizzy from low blood sugar.
  • THEN on the way home, my car broke down -- it just stopped -- just off of I40, and guess what?!?
  • MY CELL PHONE WAS DEAD TOO! I had to leave my car and walk to a phone, call my husband for help and then walk back (through traffic and across 4 lanes of traffic) back to my car
  • THEN after waiting for 20 minutes HE DROVE RIGHT BY ME WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING!! I was certain he would turn around and come right back, but he didn't. He disappeared for another 20 minutes, which meant I had to go back across lanes of heavy 5:00 traffic to beg the use of a phone to get him to come back. After running back to my car, it took another 20 minutes for him to show up.

It continued on from there. You just have to laugh some times. For the 1st time in YEARS the thought of stopping for a 4-pack of beer was foremost on my mind! I haven't been so stressed out in a long long time. I didn't get the beer, but helped myself to other goodies when I finally got home (after following the tow truck and then finding an AT&T WIRELESS dealer).

Today, as is usually the case, it is a whole different world. Thank God for that.

And as for the client...she had obviously forgotten the time I stayed over for 15 minutes while I was using energy to stretch her out, and how over the course of the last several Fridays while she was in the pool that I stayed an extra 5-10 minutes each time because my next client was so close. Some people are so controlling and suspicious and filled with so much resentment and disrespect that there is simply no way to satisfy them.

What did I do to remedy the situation? Out of my compassion and pity for her and her sad personal situation, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and bought a very nice card which said, "My Thoughts and Prayers Are With You," and mailed her exactly what she asked as a refund (even though the request was not just), because after all, the bible says to above all, love, and if someone asks for your coat, you give them your shirt, too...right!?

I hope you enjoy the story. Perhaps it will help you realize how easy your day is and how pleasant, and that it might remind you to be kind to others. You have no idea what their day has been like.

And to that end, another meaningful message...

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

"Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life....for better or for worse.

*** REMEMBER TO GET YOUR EXERCISE IN!

Angela

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This is "The Body Sculptress'" syndicated health and fitness column for September 2004. It is protected by a Copyright 2004 and all rights are reserved. You may use this article, exactly as is with "The Body Sculptress" links and contact information present, on your web site for your guest's information. Other reprint rights requests should be directed to Angela Ursprung at angela@thebodysculptress.com.

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